Fundraising Begins!

We are having an online Pampered Chef party now through June 6th!
Go to this website:
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/bugaboo
Click on "Shop Online" at the top of the page
If you see Your Host: Angela Black then you are ready to go
If not:  Enter my first and last name "Angela Black"
You should then be able to click on my name in a list (I will be the only one there)
You will be redirected to my page and able to shop away!

We are also accepting tax deductible donations:
https://www.adopttogether.org/emmakate/

We have an online Scentsy party ready to go for early July.
I have plans for a 31 party in late July.
We will soon start a Give $5 Save a Life campaign and will repeat this
just prior to travel.

Thanks for your love and support!

-Angela

China trip... Home Study... and "oh dear we need a lot of money right now"

My visit to China was amazing.  It was a non-stop week that had us in three orphanages, traveling thousands of miles on planes and hundreds of miles on a bus, and sleeping in four different hotel rooms.  I was exhausted by the end but the Lord gave me strength to stick with it and keep going.  I was with the BEST group of people.  We spent 7 days in close proximity, attached at the hip, and everything still went beautifully.  I don't know the exact number, but we saw close to 200 kids in Guangdong Province.  This trip had nothing to do with my adoption, but was with a volunteer group affiliated with our adoption agency called (un)adopted.  I was VERY close to my Emma during parts of the trip!  I'll post more about my trip later!

We were supposed to have our home tour with our social worker on my Birthday just after I returned from China.  I felt bad that my family was at home getting the house ready without my help but there was just not any other way to do it.  Our SW ended up having to cancel on us last minute because she was having problems with her pregnancy (TWINS!) and we began to transition to our new SW.  My family had a very busy late March/early April schedule and we didn't get around to that visit until our Anniversary!  The visit went very well and the kids loved meeting Emily and showing her around the house.  "Oh, surely she won't go looking through our (messy) closets!"...  no, she wont but the KIDS will show her!  Haha

We've been gathering up the last of the paperwork she needs to finalize our home study and I think she has everything now.  I expect an update from her later today letting us know if anything is outstanding and hopefully including a copy of our home study to review.

Once we review and make the necessary corrections (there will be mistakes where the SW has misunderstood something we were trying to communicate, those are always in there), we will sign a statement saying that everything is accurate and it along with the other documents for our dossier will be sent off to be authenticated.


The finalization of home study accompanies our next agency payment of around $2600.

Our I800a paperwork will be sent in with a copy of our finalized home study and a fee of $890.

Sending out dossier to China will accompany the next agency payment of around $2600.

This is a lot of money that we're facing over the next few weeks but everything calms down after this until right before travel when we'll have our last agency payment due and will start booking flights/hotels and getting the funds together for food/sight seeing/orphanage donation and such.

Adoption is expensive.  I'll post later about a fund raiser we have coming up starting next week!

Oh... There you are!

By early December we agreed that things were going very well and that we wanted to pick up with the adoption after the first of the year.  I had kept our social worker up to date on how things were going with the big new changes around our house.  On January 3rd I emailed our social worker and she agreed with our decision to continue.  We made it through the next few home study visits very quickly and I became active in our Lifeline China Facebook group and my adoption forums again.

I can't remember the date but I'll never forget the moment. A daily update of postings from one of the Yahoo groups came through my email.  Sometimes I took the time to read them, sometimes they went straight to the trash.  Someone was advocating for several children that she had met on a recent trip to China.  I clicked the link.  I had to login...  which meant I had to go back and look for the information.  Thank God I did.

There were a lot of children listed on this blog, each with a picture and short description that included information from the lady that met them and a bit of information from the caretaker that was with the child.  I scrolled through and glanced over them...  then my heart stopped.  It was as if I knew her...  her face and her smile.  I remember thinking "there you are!" but being shocked, surprised, and confused all at the same time.  We were looking for a 3-4yo girl.  This "Phoebe" was a nearly 9yo girl staring back at me.  I can't explain how I knew but I just KNEW.  She was so familiar to me.  I loved her instantly and I knew I had a lot of work ahead of me...

I showed her picture to Steven.  

"She looks mean"...  WHAT?!  This is the SWEETEST face I have ever seen!!!  Pay no attention...  he says I'm mean all of the time and I'm a sweetheart to him!

I showed her picture to the kids.

"How old is she?!"... sigh.

I showed her picture to my parents.

"No no no...  she is too old.  You want a little one like Maddie"...  double sigh.

How could it be that I knew this was my daughter but nobody else did?  Was I wrong?

I asked Steven if I could track down her file.  He said that was fine but that she looked mean.

I not only got her file but also several pictures of her and a video along with a very enthusiastic report of how amazing she is.  But I already knew that!

There was nothing scary in her file in my opinion.  I loved reading her developmental description.  She seemed right on target her whole life.  My favorite part was when it said that at a year old she was naughty and would pull the blanket off of the kid in the crib next to her and laugh about it.  Steven used this as support for his point.  She looks mean.  I simply asked that he, again, prayerfully consider this child but that we would keep looking.

It was about this same time that someone posted in our Facebook group that they needed two more volunteers for an upcoming medical trip to China.

Oh really?  Sign me up!!!

A few weeks passed and our social worker called and said she had a file that she wanted us to look at.  The LL staff had been praying for a family for this little girl and she thought about us.  We reviewed her file and pictures and video and she was such a little princess and just older than Maddie.  Again, I can't explain it but as perfect as this little girl seemed for us, it did NOT feel right.  We had to turn her down and let me tell you that is a HARD thing to do. I had to trust that I was being led by God to my daughter and that he would also lead the right family to this little girl.  I'm happy to report that this little girl now has a wonderful family!

Steven and I were at dinner one night and just talking about things that don't really stand out to me now.  Out of nowhere he says "I think we should submit LOI for your girl"...

Say what?!  Are you serious?!

He said that he felt it was the right thing to do and that he didn't really think she looked mean, she just looked like me.  Haha.

LOI or "letter of intent" to adopt is a packet of paperwork that China uses to give you the go ahead to pursue the adoption of a particular child.  You submit documents that prove you are qualified to adopt from country in general, and you also prepare a care plan that is tailored to your specific child.  

First things first...  We had to find this girl's file.  No worries with Lifeline...  they know what they're doing.  We were coming up fast on her 9th birthday and I was so confident that she was ours, I went ahead and planned her little birthday party and ordered my favorite cupcakes.  (I'm sure they're her favorite too...)

Fast forward to her birthday...  We haven't heard anything yet but I'm not giving up.  Cupcakes have been picked up and we're GOING to celebrate.  Good thing I got the call from my social worker saying that Lifeline had found her file and it was transferred and locked for us.   WHOOOO!!!!  Happy Birthday Zixia!  You've got a family.

Not so fast...  You've got to submit that LOI lady.

Now we're pushing my trip to China.  Of course I'm checking my email every five (three?  two?  one?) minutes to see if we have approval from China.  If I don't get this before I go to China then I have to travel for 30 hours with no guarantee of checking my email obsessively...  I don't know for sure that I'll have access to my email or even be able to talk to Steven easily while I'm gone.  No worries, of course we get our approval the day before I leave!

PA!!!!!!  This means she IS OUR DAUGHTER!

This also means the start of even more never ending paperwork but it sure does feel good.

The Call

It isn't easy to adopt from China.  I remember a thread in one of the many adoption forums that said "adoption isn't for the faint of heart".  I believe that God will strengthen the heart of anyone that he calls to adoption, but that statement reflects the difficulties that one will face on the adoption journey.  My husband and I have already faced some emotionally trying times on our adoption journey and we are only halfway through.

After Madison was born we knew our family was complete.  This was a rational decision on our part but surely God wouldn't have us add to our already large combined family... right?  I knew this meant that I would not be having anymore biological children and it also meant that I would not be adopting.  I was at peace with this at first.  We had 5 children and I could give my time and heart to the orphans in many other ways.

I'm not sure when God placed adoption on my heart again...  I'm sure it was never really gone but here it was creeping into my mind and my heart again more and more over a period of several months in the Spring of 2012.  I tried to rationalize it away by researching the new requirements to adopt from China.  That is when I discovered the Special Needs program and saw that we actually qualified for it.  

There's just no way...  Why would we ever try to toss that excuse to the creator of the universe?  It seems silly every time I think about it!

Just like the other times that God has (not so gently) nudged me down the path that HE has for me, everything was falling into place.  We had two children at home and were happy to spend every other weekend with my three step children.  This isn't their story and I will not go into the details, but we had finally found peace in their custody situation after trying many times to have them live with us.

By early June I finally got up the nerve to mention what I was feeling to Steven and I was SHOCKED by his response.  Calm...  Engaging...  Thoughtful...  This was all from the man that I KNEW had no desire to grow our family in any way.  We agreed to prayerfully consider adoption and we began looking for an agency.

In late June we scheduled an interview with Lifeline Children's Services and started discussing the possibility that this was going to happen.  We decided to take everything one step at a time and keep our minds and hearts open to the possibility that this wasn't the path.  We sat down and talked with two ladies about their China program and what the requirements were.  It was a wonderful experience and really put our hearts at ease about beginning the process.  We felt that we would be accepted into their program and that they would take very good care of us.  We took home an application and sent it back about a month later after MUCH more prayer and discussion.

We were accepted!  It was time to start the seemingly never ending paperwork.

HALT.

In early August our process was put on hold just after our first home study interview.  Steven's kids were placed in our home and we, as well as our social worker, felt it was best to hold on the adoption until we had settled into our new routine.

Wait.  Didn't we start the adoption journey after the peace we had been given about Steven's kids?  Would we have started it if we had 5 children in the house?  The Lord works in amazing ways folks. 

147 Million

James 1:27 calls Christians into service for the most vulnerable among us, the orphans and the widows.  We are all called in different ways.  We may be asked to give our money, our time, or our lives, to fulfill our duty in this calling.

147 million...  That is the estimated number of orphans that we as Christians are charged to care for.  

147 million.

We cannot just pass over that number and toss it out with all of the other numbers that bombard us every day.

Can you imagine your own children growing up without the love and care of a family and most importantly without knowing the love of God?  There are 147 million children out there who live that very existence.  

What if you woke up every morning in one of many rooms full of children with caretakers that felt it was wrong to show love and form attachments to you and your peers...  What if you were not given the blessing of an education because you were not worthy of the small amount of money it would take to provide you with one...  What if you knew that at 14 years old you would be sent out the door to find a way to care for yourself with no family to turn to...  

But by the grace of God.

That could have been any of us.  We do not choose the situations that we are born into.  We all deserve to love and to be loved and to know the love of God.

By the grace of God, I was adopted by the best parents and given a wonderful childhood full of love and experience.  My parents made sure that I was in church regularly from a very young age and they are both living examples of God's love.  

I've always known that I would adopt a child someday.  I can remember being very young and thinking that I was so special to be able to adopt my Cabbage Patch doll, Mary Rose Jesse.  Anyone that knew me as a child should remember Mary Rose Jesse and our matching dresses.  She went to church with me.  She went to Disney World with me.  She was even laying beside me with an oxygen mask on when I woke up from surgery when I was only 4 years old.  

I'm not sure when God placed China on my heart.  I know I couldn't have been more than 12 or 13 years old.  I loved learning about the Chinese people, culture, and history in school.  I did a project on China in one of my middle school history classes and wrote a beautiful poem about the construction of the great wall.  My parents took me to Beijing as my high school graduation present and I fell even more in love.  I vowed that I wouldn't let too many years pass before I returned and I knew at that time that I wanted to someday bring a little girl back home with me.

<3 Angela